I so hate this saying with a passion. I’ve not been on here for a long time, I will elaborate more in the next few days. So much has happened in my life and when things happen that are out of my control or upset me people always say It Is What It Is. Makes me want to scream.
The beautiful view that I had at the bottom of my garden, well they’re now starting to build on that field. I used to love looking across there early in the morning when it was so peaceful and early evening when I got in from work after a long day. So relaxing looking at the beautiful view. Felt so sad when they put a fence up, I cried. 23 years I’ve had such a beautiful view to look at. But people say It Is What It Is, like so what, suck it up buttercup. Well no I’m not a robot, I have feelings and this has made me unhappy. I know I’m very lucky to have a garden still but that view was one of the reasons for me and my husband buying our house.
Also lovely seeing the foxes and deer and then the geese would land on the field this time of year. All these things helped to soothe my soul and destress me which is important when you have Fibromyalgia. Felt like being on holiday sitting on my decking at the bottom of my garden when the weather was nice.
I recently had to hand in my notice at work after being off sick again with the Fibromyalgia. That was very hard for me but after being back for 5 months working lots of hours unfortunately Fibromyalgia won. Again what do I hear It Is What It Is. Want to scream even more by this point.
Also while being off sick I had to have a minor operation, attend 2 family weddings shortly after, Fibromyalgia made worse by a 9 hour car journey, awaiting test results, thankfully all good. Get a nasty bout of Costochondritis which is pain and inflammation where your ribs join your breast bone and is extremely painful. Say I’m feeling a bit fed up to be told It Is What It Is yet again. Now I’m not one to moan and complain and most people were surprised to find out I had Fibromyalgia, about 15 plus years now. I just get on with it but sometimes it would be nice to feel people care.
Fibromyalgia is a very horrible illness and a very lonely one. I look fine on the outside, they don’t see me at my worse. Oh and so much shock I’ve left my job. Unfortunately I had to. My health had to come first, especially with finding out the awful pain in my knee is arthritis. But why should I have to explain to people and feel belittled. My life, my choice. My turn to say to all of those people It Is What It Is and you can suck it up buttercup.
What food would you say is your specialty?
I make a nice roast dinner, especially with homemade Yorkshire puddings and lasagna. I prefer to make sweet things especially anything with chocolate, especially brownies. A classic Victoria Sponge is always nice. Shop bought never tastes the same.
I found a new garden centre nearby that’s only a few years old and decided to go and visit it with my daughter to cheer myself up and it didn’t disappoint. They had a large cafe there but will visit that another time as was very busy and noisy because it’s half term this week. I just love looking at the Christmas displays and my daughter always smiles at me and says my face looks like a five year olds when I walk in and see the Christmas Decorations.
I’m really struggling with my fibromyalgia at the moment and still signed off work. Unless you have fibromyalgia it can be difficult to understand how painful and debilitating it can be. Writing poems helps me express how I’m feeling at the time.
FIBROMYALGIA
Insomnia driving me mad
Intense pain is making me sad
Every day is just the same
In this daily torturous game
Life is quickly passing me by
Many things fibromyalgia does deny
I just want to be free from pain
Be radiant and glow again
Not a shadow of my former self
Returned back to former health.
Sarah Buckley
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
I have a lot of lazy days which I don’t like doing because of having Fibromyalgia but I need to otherwise I can’t function properly. I don’t mind so much when I have to have a lazy day this time of year because I can read a book or watch a Christmas movie, cosied up on my sofa with a super soft throw and a supersized mug of tea. The next day doesn’t always guarantee if i will feel more rested though.
I used to really enjoy lazy days in Autumn before my husband and I had our children and we used to have a lay in on a Sunday if we weren’t working and then go for a nice woodland walk or along the seafront and went to family’s for dinner and then chill and watch TV in the evening. We used to wake up on a Monday feeling a lot more rested.
Last week I went to a store called The Range and they had some beautiful Christmas decorations and are very reasonably priced.
I love looking round the garden centres this time of year at their lovely Christmas displays.
What makes a good neighbor?
A good neighbour is hopefully someone you can firstly get along with. I’m very lucky to have neighbours like that. We put each others bins out, chat a lot in the summer over the fence or out the front if we see them. Keep an eye on their home when on holiday and water their plants if needed. A good neighbour could also be someone who could help you out in an emergency and take in parcels for you when you’re not in.
One of my previous neighbours would sometimes come round for tea and cake and I would sometimes look after her little grandson. One year their oven broke midway through cooking Christmas dinner so I was able to help out. Luckily their turkey was already cooked so I just had to finish cooking their roast potatoes.
Good neighbours often keep an eye out for elderly people, making sure that they are okay and helping them if they don’t have family living nearby. Good neighbours are hopefully not too noisy. Everyone makes noise and people have social gatherings especially in the summer but some people go beyond that and constantly annoy their neighbours with loud music and late night parties all the time. I feel very lucky where I live for now anyway until they start building 250 homes on the lovely field at the bottom of my back garden and then I may not be happy about neighbours.
I’m meant to be returning to work this week but I can’t honestly see that happening. Fibromyalgia pain is getting the better of me, my back keeps going into spasm and yesterday was an unbearable day which I only found short relief by having a couple of glasses of wine. I very rarely drink alcohol because I’m on medication and also I’m not that bothered about drinking any more. My body doesn’t seem too like it. I’d much rather have a large mug of tea.
I work in a card shop which is a nice little job and the people I work with are great and I’ve gotten to know a lot of customers over the years which is nice. I like talking to people and I love working there in the build up to Christmas and yet I find myself off sick again. Each time I’ve returned to work I’ve found that after standing for over 8 hours with a 30 minute break I can barely walk by the time I get home and spend my days off in bed. My whole body feels like it’s on fire and the pain is unbearable and muscle spasms drive me crazy. I never complain at work. I just say I’m okay even when I’m dying to sit or lie down. Even working reduced hours have not given me relief.
This is hard for me. I used to work a lot of hours, manage things at home, now some days it’s hard to get out of bed. Netflix is my friend. I write poems as a way to express how I’m feeling. I love this time of year because I can go to the garden centres and look at their magical Christmas displays which feeds the inner child inside of me without having to walk miles.
I used to walk miles, loved walking, went to the gym, met up with friends regularly, had a better social life. Then fibromyalgia hit and it steals so much from you. Luckily I have a good family and I do really like my own company. I enjoy it sometimes when I’m the only person at home and it’s peaceful.
What I don’t need now again is everyone saying, oh you look fine, fibromyalgia is invisible and I’m good at hiding my pain. Have you tried this or that. I work 40 hours and i have fibromyalgia, so what’s your problem. Load of crap. Everyone is unique and different and my body seems to not be ready yet and needs to rest unfortunately. I will get there because I never give up. Just having a blip in my life at the moment.
Fibromyalgia Warrior, People Watching fan who loves TV. 