Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I still get excited even though my children are now aged 21 and 24. A few weeks ago I visited a lovely garden centre called Keydells with my daughter. We had lunch in their cafe and then had a look at their spectacular Christmas displays. I can’t wait to go back. It wasn’t too busy when we went, on a Thursday. Weekends get really busy and I’m not a fan of noise and crowds.
Recently it’s still been a battle with fibromyalgia. I just want one day off from pain, just one. The muscle spasms have been driving me crazy. Not forgetting the migraines.
Well it’s the beginning of another week. I can’t believe how fast this year is going. The older I get, the time goes so much faster. Didn’t do much at the weekend, suffering with the dreaded fibromyalgia, so pottered about indoors, watched Strictly Come Dancing, some light housework and a date with the migraine monster.
Hopefully this will be a better week, I take each day as it comes. I’m trying not to eat too much chocolate, my favourite vice, so not been buying so much. If it’s in the house it calls out to me. Lol 😂
Hope everyone else has a good week. I’m hoping to go a Garden Centre on Thursday to see a magical Christmas Display. They should be out now.
Had a really bad week last week with my fibromyalgia and costochondritis. The pain was unbearable at times, even with pain killers.
I tried doing relaxation, watching television, reading. Nothing was helping much. Ice packs and hot water bottles did provide some relief. So did sleep, when I could get to sleep. Very often I get into bed and can’t get comfortable because of the pain and so go back downstairs, have a cuppa. Sometimes I’ll have a hot chocolate and whiskey. That helps.
At least today isn’t so bad. I’m in pain every day, but I still get on with some things. But there are times when unfortunately I can’t. I often over do it on a good day and will then pay for it. I think a lot of people with fibromyalgia do. I often lie to people as well and say I’m okay when I’m not because I just don’t want to keep going on about it. It’s something I have to live with unfortunately.
At least we’re now in Autumn. I love Autumn, the beautiful colours, cosy evenings in, lighting scented candles. Also having hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream. Roast dinners every Sunday. Bliss. Also the Garden Centres start putting out their Christmas displays. I can’t wait. I get so excited, even at 55. My daughter always laughs at me but she likes coming to the garden centre too. Time for a large cuppa tea, I think and sit in the garden.
Hope everyone is well and if anyone else is suffering from fibromyalgia or an invisible illness, hope you’re doing okay.
I really miss my job, especially this time of year leading up to Christmas. I worked in a Card Shop and loved all the Christmas cards, paper, tags, dressings and gifts. I got on well with all my work colleagues and had gotten to know many customers over the years. I liked interacting with people and helping customers of all ages. The shop is in a small village and so working there was a great atmosphere. Unfortunately after being off sick again for a long time because of my fibromyalgia I had to leave. I was physically unable to do my job anymore. I cried when I left. It still makes me sad now.
Fibromyalgia robs so many things from you, but to the outside world you look fine. If people were to come close enough and look into your eyes then they would see. The loss of who you used to be, the sadness, and the pain. They don’t see when you’re in agonising pain because then you’re at home unable to go out, hot water bottles on your back trying to ease the muscle spasms and pain. The days spent in bed with the migraine monster and all over body pain. When you do go out you’re still in pain. You just have to get on with it, otherwise you would do nothing.
Because of the severity of my symptoms I haven’t been doing much recently. Pottering about, pacing myself, lots of reading and watching television. I used to be a very active person before fibromyalgia stole my life, regularly going to the gym, lots of long walks, a very tidy house and catching up with family and friends. I tend not to make plans any more because I never know how I’m going to feel. I just see how I feel on the day. I’m still lucky though because I have great support from my husband and adult children. Another positive this year is I will enjoy Christmas more because working in retail meant not much time off for the Christmas holidays. I can go and visit local Christmas markets if I’m feeling okay and the garden centres more, especially ones with a cafe so I can sit and recharge.
At the moment though the weather is nice and sunny, chilly first thing in the morning and evening and it’s getting darker earlier. I have been sitting outside when it’s not too noisy from the building work going on in the field at the bottom of my garden. Before they start working, they have a long lunch, so peaceful then and about 4.30 in the afternoon. My husband is going to do a BBQ later as he’s on the early shift. Got to make the most of the last of the warm sunny weather. Won’t be here for long. So for now I’m off outside to drink my cuppa tea in my garden.
I really miss the beautiful view that I used to have at the bottom of my garden. I so enjoyed looking out at it with my early morning coffee and again in the evening watching the sun set with a large mug of tea. It was a great stress relief and very calming looking out across the field.
The building work started in May and not long after they put a fence up. The noise and the dust isn’t very nice either.
Fortunately I do still have a nice garden. I bought some lovely solar lights this year so come night time it looks like fairy land which I’ve enjoyed and will still do until late Autumn. My family and friends like them too. Soon it will be my favourite time of year, Christmas and will get to see lots of lovely lights when people decorate their houses. Also the shopping centres and garden centres look amazing too. I cannot wait to visit the garden centres when they’ve got all their Christmas decorations out. Before then I will enjoy Autumn with all the beautiful colours.
I’ve been really struggling with pain lately and often feel like a prisoner in my own home and still upset that I had to give up my job. Fibromyalgia robs you of so many things. I write poems as it’s a way of expressing how I’m feeling.
Time has gone so quickly since last year. I returned to work last October 2023 even though I still didn’t have my fibromyalgia under control, but needed the money. Can’t live on fresh air. As soon as I went back, three long days of standing all day. Only meant to be one. I honestly don’t know how I did it. I’d get home and collapse onto the sofa. My whole body feeling like it was on fire, especially my feet. My back would be in spasm and I would just feel like crying. After taking my painkillers, a large mug of tea and a hot water bottle on my back I would start to feel slightly human again. Luckily my husband has learnt how to cook over the years so he often helps out with meals.
I continued to work, lots of hours, especially with Christmas on its way. I worked in a Card Shop so we sold loads of Christmas cards, wrapping paper, tags, bows, gifts and more. My fibromyalgia was getting worse, having to take more painkillers, my days off spent in bed. Eventually with Christmas getting nearer and so much to do I think adrenaline and energy drinks kept me going. I love Christmas, it’s my favourite time of year but I was struggling physically and mentally. Got through it but didn’t enjoy it as much. Didn’t get all my decorations out, didn’t do as much as I would have liked. Still nice to spend time with family.
In January I had a week booked off and spent most of it in bed. Went back to work and full on with Valentine’s Day on the horizon. Busy again, kept going, then quick turn around for Mother’s Day. The day after I got vertigo, never had it before, awful, room spinning, not nice. Off work the rest of the week and then returned. I think I managed a couple of days and my body just said no more. I was signed off sick by my doctor. Eventually I had no choice but to hand in my notice and left August the 9th. I now regret pushing myself too far. I should have listened to my body. My health should have come first.
I don’t know what I’m going to do for employment now. I still have a lot of bad days, I have to learn not to overdo it. Rest when I need to. Sometimes this isn’t always possible. Also I’m not the type of person who likes doing nothing, so when I have to take to my bed then I’m not feeling good. I hate asking for help even when the housework is mounting up and the ironing pile is growing at an alarming rate. I’m hoping this Autumn I can catch up a bit. Just take one day at a time.
Fibromyalgia Warrior, People Watching fan who loves TV. 