Everyday Life

I really miss my job, especially this time of year leading up to Christmas. I worked in a Card Shop and loved all the Christmas cards, paper, tags, dressings and gifts. I got on well with all my work colleagues and had gotten to know many customers over the years. I liked interacting with people and helping customers of all ages. The shop is in a small village and so working there was a great atmosphere. Unfortunately after being off sick again for a long time because of my fibromyalgia I had to leave. I was physically unable to do my job anymore. I cried when I left. It still makes me sad now.

Fibromyalgia robs so many things from you, but to the outside world you look fine. If people were to come close enough and look into your eyes then they would see. The loss of who you used to be, the sadness, and the pain. They don’t see when you’re in agonising pain because then you’re at home unable to go out, hot water bottles on your back trying to ease the muscle spasms and pain. The days spent in bed with the migraine monster and all over body pain. When you do go out you’re still in pain. You just have to get on with it, otherwise you would do nothing.

Because of the severity of my symptoms I haven’t been doing much recently. Pottering about, pacing myself, lots of reading and watching television. I used to be a very active person before fibromyalgia stole my life, regularly going to the gym, lots of long walks, a very tidy house and catching up with family and friends. I tend not to make plans any more because I never know how I’m going to feel. I just see how I feel on the day. I’m still lucky though because I have great support from my husband and adult children. Another positive this year is I will enjoy Christmas more because working in retail meant not much time off for the Christmas holidays. I can go and visit local Christmas markets if I’m feeling okay and the garden centres more, especially ones with a cafe so I can sit and recharge.

At the moment though the weather is nice and sunny, chilly first thing in the morning and evening and it’s getting darker earlier. I have been sitting outside when it’s not too noisy from the building work going on in the field at the bottom of my garden. Before they start working, they have a long lunch, so peaceful then and about 4.30 in the afternoon. My husband is going to do a BBQ later as he’s on the early shift. Got to make the most of the last of the warm sunny weather. Won’t be here for long. So for now I’m off outside to drink my cuppa tea in my garden.