Coping with Fibromyalgia

I’m meant to be returning to work this week but I can’t honestly see that happening. Fibromyalgia pain is getting the better of me, my back keeps going into spasm and yesterday was an unbearable day which I only found short relief by having a couple of glasses of wine. I very rarely drink alcohol because I’m on medication and also I’m not that bothered about drinking any more. My body doesn’t seem too like it. I’d much rather have a large mug of tea.

I work in a card shop which is a nice little job and the people I work with are great and I’ve gotten to know a lot of customers over the years which is nice. I like talking to people and I love working there in the build up to Christmas and yet I find myself off sick again. Each time I’ve returned to work I’ve found that after standing for over 8 hours with a 30 minute break I can barely walk by the time I get home and spend my days off in bed. My whole body feels like it’s on fire and the pain is unbearable and muscle spasms drive me crazy. I never complain at work. I just say I’m okay even when I’m dying to sit or lie down. Even working reduced hours have not given me relief.

This is hard for me. I used to work a lot of hours, manage things at home, now some days it’s hard to get out of bed. Netflix is my friend. I write poems as a way to express how I’m feeling. I love this time of year because I can go to the garden centres and look at their magical Christmas displays which feeds the inner child inside of me without having to walk miles.

I used to walk miles, loved walking, went to the gym, met up with friends regularly, had a better social life. Then fibromyalgia hit and it steals so much from you. Luckily I have a good family and I do really like my own company. I enjoy it sometimes when I’m the only person at home and it’s peaceful.

What I don’t need now again is everyone saying, oh you look fine, fibromyalgia is invisible and I’m good at hiding my pain. Have you tried this or that. I work 40 hours and i have fibromyalgia, so what’s your problem. Load of crap. Everyone is unique and different and my body seems to not be ready yet and needs to rest unfortunately. I will get there because I never give up. Just having a blip in my life at the moment.